Monday, June 21, 2010

Best junk email subject line ever

It's not everyday you get junk email that advises: "Don’t let anybody call you homunculus because of the length of your device."

Um, yeah, don't... you might develop neurasthenia or something. So just tell that son of a mandrake root to piss off, and don't even read the rest of the subject line, with its enticing assertion that "the easiest way to become a real dandy is to enlarge your device."

"Homunculus?" "Dandy?" Who in the name of Harry Potter and the Scarlet Pimpernel is writing copy for pizzle-plumping spam these days? And how did the word "device," with its vaguely orgasmatronic connotations, make its way into this riot of antiquated allusions?

And finally, though spam is by its nature a blunt tool (yes, Beavis and Butthead, I said "tool"), you'd think even a broad-sweep filter might recognize that an email address ending "@missflickchick.com" probably doesn't belong to a member (yes, I said "member," too) of the target market for this sort of product.

3 comments:

achyfakey said...

Thanks to Maitland, I was able to espy a real, live homunculous... why, it's Corky from 2007's Nancy Drew movie:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Josh_Flitter

miss flickchick said...

Sweet baby Jesus! You've pretty much guaranteed that I'll sleep badly tonight...

achyfakey said...
This comment has been removed by the author.