And now it's on to best actor, to the theme from The Magnificent Seven...

God, how did I forget that Michael Douglas had a best actor Oscar for Wall Street? Oh right... I tried really, really hard.

Adrian Brody's incredibly gracious, respectful speech about Richard Jenkins and The Vistor is going to go down as one of my favorite moments of this broadcast. He's not going to win, but my God, Jenkins was great and it's a real pleasure to see a veteran character actor get his moment in the sun..

Can you say "bleached blond battered bruiser" five times fast? I can't.

The evening's first unpset: Sean Penn gets best actor for Milk! Not that he doesn't richly deserve it, but comeback-kid Mickey Rourke was the sentimental favorite for The Wrestler and I really believe Penn's surprise that the Academy's "commie, homo-loving sons of guns" went with him. And good for him for coming out (as it were) in support of gay marriage and for taking the time to praise Rourke.

He's a pain in the ass and he knows it, but Penn has the courage of his convictions whether or not they're in line with popular opinion.

AQnd now, during the commercial break....

May I take a moment top observe that this show is moving like a freight train? It isn't even 11:30 and there are only three awards left.

Way back in 1990, I did a long interview with Bill Condon for my book Filmmaking on the Fringe. Back then he was directing made-for-TV thrillers and low-budget genre films; today he has an Oscar for Gods and Monsters and is one of this Oscar telecast's two producers (the other is Lawrence Mark).

Bill was a hell of a smart, nice, movie-loving guy then and I'm willing to bet that he's exactly the same now. So Bill, congratulations!

Best Cinematography, Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller presiding with maximum awkwardness

Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller pretending to be Joachin Phoenix... wow, that's edgy.

Slumdog again: Anthony Dod Mantle gets his due. Great movie that looks great, but that pocket hankie really has to go.

Fey and Martin, Part 2...

....and it's not getting any better.

But the Slumdog Millionaire sweep begins, with Simon Beaufoy taking the adapted screenplay award.